Projective Identification
In the world of psychoanalytic psychology, “projective identification” straddles two main meanings.
The first refers to a type of projection in which a person hates something about themselves and then perceives those hated traits in someone else—sometimes accurately, and sometimes distorting that other person’s actions to support this projection—which can then cause that second person to internalize this perception and adopt those traits.
The second definition refers to a person who hates something about themselves and then projects those hated traits onto a fractured part of their ego; essentially splitting off a sub-self who has those traits, which allows them to feel as if they, their main self, does not. This thinking might manifest as something like, “I would never do that, but some part of me wants to.”
The use of this term often flits back and forth between these two definitions because manifestations of it often include elements of both: someone splits off a piece of their ego to hold their hated traits, but might also see the those traits reflected in other people more often than usual.
A thief who locks their door assiduously, for instance, worried that everyone around them is just waiting for the opportunity to steal their stuff, while also justifying their own thieving by saying it’s just something they do sometimes, not a vital part of who they are, is demonstrating a bit of both of these definitions.
A common manifestation of this concept is seen in people who validate their behaviors by finding tribes or belief systems that justify their actions, or perhaps even celebrate them. This allows them to feel good about even truly horrible things they do, and beliefs that previously caused them to question their impulses or perspectives.
A thief who befriends other thieves, talking with them about the fools they steal from and how they’re basically asking for it, bringing their victimhood upon themselves because they’re not careful enough, is an example of this tendency.
In other words: if we feel weird about something we’re inclined to do, we may be drawn to other people who will tell us those things we’re questioning and that we suspect might not be okay, are not just okay, they’re great.
We revel in the company of people who celebrate us for things that we might otherwise worry about because this numbs us to the cognitive dissonance or shame we might otherwise feel. And all we typically have to do in return is look down upon some other group, some other person or persons, with this new reference group, because that helps us feel justified in our beliefs and actions by comparison.
We see performative versions of this in politicians and other public figures near-constantly, but it’s something we’re all prone to do in lifestyle-defining, overt ways, and in very subtle ways that are tricky to notice even if we’re paying close attention.
Ultimately, this specific type of defense-oriented projection and reference group selection helps us avoid certain types of negative internalization at the expense of what might otherwise be a less-biased view of who we are, what we do, and what our actions say about who we are.
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